A Firm-Handed Man

Friday, February 1, 2013

Welcome Cara!

I would like to welcome Cara Bristol who’s going to give us a sneak peak into her own blind dating experience…welcome Cara! (I have to say I LOVED Body Politics)






Blind dates, matchmaking and Body Politics

By Cara Bristol


I remember my worst blind date. The guy stood me up twice – in the same night! I’d “met” him through a small video dating service and after speaking on the phone, we’d arranged to meet for a drink. This was before cell phones, and I waited 45 minutes in a cocktail lounge (feeling very conspicuous) and he never showed.
When I got home, I called him and left a message. He returned my call and apologized over and over (but did not give me an explanation) and begged for another chance. I reluctantly agreed to meet him again, this time for coffee. I waited 15 minutes. No show. I left him a message to never call me again.
About a month later, the woman who owned the dating service told me he wanted another chance. By that time I was dating the man who would later become my husband, but I wouldn’t have gone out with him if he were the last man on earth.
Other blind dates arranged by friends were simply…boring. I had nothing in common with the men I’d been fixed up with. Which leads to the crux of the matter: matchmaking is a skill and an art. Too often well-meaning friends and family are so eager to see you in a relationship, they’re desperate to pair you up with somebody, anybody, without taking into account values, likes and dislikes, interests. Just because you breathe and he breathes, doesn’t mean you’re a perfect match.
Sometimes our “friends” get it SO wrong, we can only wonder, “What were they thinking?” “Don’t they know me at all?”
Stephanie Gordon of Body Politics trusts that she and her friend Elizabeth Davenport are on the same wavelength. Stephanie is the founder and administrator of a feminist program. Elizabeth is a champion of women’s legal rights. So when Elizabeth says she has a man for her, Stephanie agrees to the date, confident that Elizabeth knows her ideal man is a sensitive, liberated male.
But who does Elizabeth set Stephanie up with? Mark DeLuca, the criminally sexy, but domineering and chauvinistic deputy chief of police. Worse, Mark is a member of the Rod and Cane Society, an organization of men who spank their wives to maintain domestic discipline. How could Elizabeth have gotten it so wrong? And while Stephanie instantly rejects Mark, he’s very much taken by her. And Mark isn’t one to take no for answer…



Body Politics Blurb

Feminist Stephanie Gordon knows the instant she meets blind date Mark DeLuca it’s going to be a wasted evening. Sure the deputy chief of police is criminally sexy, but he's arrogant, domineering and sexist. Thank goodness after the date ends, she'll never have to see him again. A member of the Rod and Cane Society, an organization of men who discipline their women by spanking, Mark DeLuca is attracted to Stephanie like a paddle to a well-rounded ass. He sees beneath the shield of feminist militancy to the soft, sensitive woman she tries to hide. When she storms away in a snit, the chase is on. Can a man who spanks convince a diehard feminist her true strength lies in submission?



Body Politics Excerpt

(Stephanie is the parking lot talking to her friend who fixed her up)
She dug her cell from its pocket in her purse.
Elizabeth answered on the first ring. “How’d it go?”
“Do you know where he had me meet him? A bar for spankos! I thought you knew this guy!” She wanted to give Elizabeth the benefit of the doubt, but she was pissed.
“Bottom’s Up?”
“You’ve heard of it?” Stephanie gasped.
“What happened? What did he do?”
“He tried to…” Manhandle me. Okay, that was a little strong. He’d grabbed her arm, but she had freed herself easily, and he’d employed no further effort to detain her. But he’d insisted on paying for her drink, disrespecting her financial independence. Grudgingly she admitted he probably viewed his behavior as chivalrous. “It wasn’t what he did. It’s what he is.” She glanced over her shoulder at the bar’s entrance. No sign of Mark. She swallowed over the lump in her throat. Good. She’d be a fool to consider dating a man like him.
“What is he?”
“A sexist,” she hissed. The most dangerous kind. The type who could entice a woman to abandon her principles for a screaming oh-baby orgasm. But not her.
Elizabeth laughed.
“It’s not funny. I thought you and I were on the same wavelength.” Either Elizabeth had suffered from a lack of judgment, or she’d betrayed Stephanie for some nefarious purpose. The former wasn’t the friend she respected, and the latter hurt too much to even contemplate.
“He’s not a sexist. But he is dominant, a man of conviction.” Amusement had vanished from Elizabeth’s voice.
“I need a man who treats me as his equal.” How could Elizabeth, of all people, not get it?
“How would you describe yourself?”
Stephanie straightened and threw back her shoulders. “I’m independent, assertive, strong.”
“So what kind of man would you envision as your equal? Dependent, wishy-washy, and weak?”
Put like that, it kind of made sense. Hell, the wishy-washy weak part described her ex-husband to a T. Maybe that explained why she’d had such bad luck with the men she’d chosen. It wasn’t that she wasn’t their equal—they weren’t hers. But she’d downed half a Bottom Burner. Maybe it had muddled her reasoning. Shouldn’t she stick to her guns? She knew better than anyone what she desired.
“Stephanie.”
She jumped and squealed at the rough sound of her name. She clutched the cell to her ear and stared at Mark. How had such a big man moved so silently over the graveled parking lot? Her mouth dried, impeding speech. “I-I’ll…uh…call you back,” she said into the phone.
“Give him a chance,” Elizabeth said and disconnected.



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Cara’s website/blog: http://www.carabristol.com


Follow Cara on Twitter: @CaraBristol



Thanks Cara for joining me! 


3 comments:

  1. Thank you, Constance, for having me today!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bind dates :) Been there, done that, thrown away the commemorative tee-shirts! Props to you Cara for your willingness to share your experience. I "can't go there" in recounting mine. I'm not that much of a masochist.
    But, now that I think about it, I never had any successful relationship come from going on a date, blind or not. I've had three long-term relationships and all evolved out of situations where we were friends first for a very long time, in one case several years, before one or the other worked up the nerve to ask for "something more."
    Good post.

    Hugs,
    claire

    ReplyDelete

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