A Lie Unraveled

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Coming Out and Unconditional Love

When my first book came out I was excited. Really excited but something marred it just a little and that was the fact that the only person in my real life (apart from my online friends who are like family) that knew what I wrote was my husband. Now not to diminish this man's role in my life, he's my best friend but I still felt like I needed to tell someone.


The first person I told was my eldest daughter. She was very excited for me. She'd always wanted me to write a book, all my kids had, the older ones anyway. Anyway this child, who isn't a child I hasten to add, urged me to share with my sisters.
"You should tell them."she urged. "They'll be happy for you and they'd be really hurt if they found out and you didn't tell them."


I pondered on this and then finally sent my sisters each an email. It's easy to write something rather than have to say the words isn't it? Of course it is. Problem was I didn't receive a reply from either of them. As the days passed my heart sank. I was starting to think that telling them was a big mistake. They obviously both thought I was crazy or weird or both... I couldn't bring myself to bring the subject up.



Well fate being what it is, I got my chance a few weeks later. We were at a birthday party for my sister's partner. After a bit of dutch courage in the form of a half a bottle of champagne...I pulled my sister over to the side.
"Did you get my email?" I asked. I swear I thought my heart was going to jump right out of my chest.
"No?" she said. "Sorry I haven't checked my email for ages."
Now being that I spend most of my waking hours on the net it never occurred to me that she wouldn't have read it.
"OH." I said. I could run back over to her house steal her computer and try and figure out her password so I could delete the message couldn't I? But then my other sister lives on the other side of the country, no chance of deleting hers...
"Was it important?" she asked.
"No. NO, I said. It's just."
"Let's go and have a drink." she said helpfully. "Then you can tell me."
See that's what I needed another drink, a bit of dutch courage.



We cracked open another bottle of champagne, no idea what happened to the other one, someone else must have drunk it. That's my story anyway. So we shared a drink and I told her.
"I've had a book published." I said. "It's only an E Book and I don't even know if anyone will buy it." I said.
"Wow!" she said gushing."I'll buy it!"
Relief and champagne flooded through me and I opened up and told her about what I write. I thought I mentioned that I wasn't going to tell everyone in the family just her and my other sister. Perhaps I just thought that's what I said or perhaps she didn't hear it...or perhaps it was the champagne....


I was so relieved. She wasn't shocked or disgusted or anything, it felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders.
 That was until the next day....




This has gotten too long so I'll finish the next part of the story in my next blog.




8 comments:

  1. What a cliff hanger!

    I empathize with you because I remember how hard it was at the beginning to tell those first few people. I don't hesitate to tell anyone what I do anymore, but when I first started writing, it was such a huge scary step. I chose to lead them into the water one step at a time, first telling them I wrote erotic romance, then telling them it it was kinky erotic romance, then finally giving them my name and book titles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'm getting more OK with it...I think. Thanks Cara :)

      Delete
  2. Yay for coming out! I'm looking forward to the next installment of this post. I've told lots and lots of people what I write and I've yet to receive a negative reaction, but it was hard for me to take that first step and tell someone other than my husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first step WAS hard. I'm going to post the rest of what happened tomorrow. Thanks Sue :)

      Delete
  3. I would think this reaction is both typical and rare at the same time....Once you write a book, you're out there...everything you are, think, stand for, how you view life, and especially how you view others, is on display...then we got to the scary part..How people respond to it, sales, etc, can become a validation of how much they believe in you, how good a friend they are, etc...Internally, we look at our friends and one question pops up in our head..'did they buy my book? If not, are they as good a friend as I thought?"....

    Anyway, I feel your pain. What you have expressed is typical for authors, or so I'm told and felt...it's rare because....YOU WROTE A BOOK AND PUT IT OUT THERE, AND THAT IS SO FLIPPING RARE! KUDOS TO YOU!"...there..that's my story and I'm sticking to it....lolol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement Lee :)

      Delete
  4. I want to know what happened after that! It's hard but I hope that you will find as many supporters offline as you do on it. I have told a friend or two that I started to write erotic fiction (and about spankings oh my!) but I doubt I will ever be able to tell my family. Kudos for being so brave! :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. I also said that I wrote erotic fiction at first, and then I waited like a coward for the reaction from my sister after she read it. My kids know and are very proud of me (the older ones) but they think it's a little weird to read any erotica that I've written. I haven't taken offence at that lol.
    Thanks Adaline. The next part will be up tomorrow :)

    ReplyDelete

The Romance Reviews

The Romance Reviews

Sexy Cherry